The Best of Craigslist Personals—Real Ads, Real Gross
by Kathy Cacace

Craigslist is a horny hotbed of personal ads. It has to be the no-frills anonymity compelling the crazies to fill page after page with strange, demanding, borderline terrifying requests for love. Below, I’ve gathered and tried to explain my favorite headlines from recent M4W posts.

size 0 valentine - (manhattan)
I got one Hershey Kiss and I’m down to bone! Get at me, ladies.

LET ELVIS COME IN TO YOUR HOUSE… –
Absolutely not.

Alone Again On Valentimes day :+( - 55 - (Bklyn)
Man, I hate Valentimes day too! It’s so sad carving punkins down at the nucular power plant, where all the kids play those mischeeveeous pranks.

SHIT MAN! - 23 - (Lower East Side)
It’s a brownie! It’s chocolate pudding! Oh god, what IS that?

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY–HEAR ME CUM ON THE PHONE LADIES NOW!!!! – 24
Nothing says Valentine’s Day than the heavy breathing of a strange Neanderthal.

My Valentine was a dud! - 32 –
With a pnis! Up my poopr!

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The Best of Craigslist Personals—Real Ads, Real Gross
by Kathy Cacace

Craigslist is a horny hotbed of personal ads. It has to be the no-frills anonymity compelling the crazies to fill page after page with strange, demanding, borderline terrifying requests for love. Below, I’ve gathered and tried to explain my favorite headlines from recent M4W posts.

Every once in a blue moon I like to check in with the ladies of Craigslist. Though their posts tend to skew depressing, the nutty ones are far loonier than their male counterparts who, in general, just can’t get their mind off boobs. This week, the greatest hits of the W4M section.

I live for Robitussin - 32 - (Upper West Side)
Live that dream, sister, live that dream.

Not sure I believe in Jane Austen
I keep leaving my bloomers pinned to the mantle, but she’s yet to come down the chimney and fill them with flavored lip gloss and quill pens. WTF?

I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE DOING THIS AGAIN – 59
BUT SERIOUSLY THIS SONG JUST NEVER ENDS
IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND

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The Best of Craigslist Personals—Real Ads, Real Gross
by Kathy Cacace

Craigslist is a horny hotbed of personal ads. It has to be the no-frills anonymity compelling the crazies to fill page after page with strange, demanding, borderline terrifying requests for love. Below, I’ve gathered and tried to explain my favorite headlines from recent M4W posts.

click here for the time of your life – 35
Woo. Boy, am I having a great time.

I WILL PAY CASH FOR YOUR……..woman’s essence
Right. Because posting on Craigslist for used underwear is the time to get……..poetic.

GREEK MAN SEEKING ASIAN BIKE RIDING PARTNER FOREST/PARK WEEKDAYS - m4ww
Are you looking for a date or putting together a circus act?

I’d RatherLaugh With The Sinners Than Cry With The Saints - 52 (Metro NYC)
On the list of songs that might be slightly off-putting when trying to attract blind internet dates, “Only the Good Die Young” is probably pretty high on that list. You know what? Maybe stay away from “Purple People Eater,” “Stairway to Heaven,” “Whip It,” “Beat It,” and “Wanted Dead or Alive,” while you’re at it.

I’m in the mood to squeeze some boobs! - 37 (Brooklyn)
I’m in the mood to vomit in my lap!

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The Best of Craigslist Personals—Real Ads, Real Gross
by Kathy Cacace

Craigslist is a horny hotbed of personal ads. It has to be the no-frills anonymity compelling the crazies to fill page after page with strange, demanding, borderline terrifying requests for love. Below, I’ve gathered and tried to explain my favorite headlines from recent M4W posts.

LOST & FOUND – 38
FOUR LEFT GLOVES
A PAIR OF BIFOCALS
iPOD FILLED WITH BILLY JOEL
HALF A PASTRAMI SANDWICH, STILL WRAPPED, LOOKS OKAY

I’m free during the day… – 46
At night my rates start at $50.

What can brown do for you? – 31
1. Gross me out.
2. Make me an internet star, provided I can find a friend and a cup.
3. Give me E.coli.

Looking for my other half – 49
Last time I saw it, it was attached to my waist.

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The Best of Craigslist Personals—Real Ads, Real Gross
by Kathy Cacace

Craigslist is a horny hotbed of personal ads. It has to be the no-frills anonymity compelling the crazies to fill page after page with strange, demanding, borderline terrifying requests for love. Below, I’ve gathered and tried to explain my favorite headlines from recent M4W posts.

All I want for X-mas is a big black chick, a big black chick…….. – 38
This is actually the title track to the soundtrack from the little known Alvin & The Chipmunks XXX film, “Alvin, Simon, Hardcore.”

All I Want 4 X-Mas Is My Very Own Harem……
So I could wish a merry pimpmas!

MAKE YOUR KNISH COME TRUE
Baby, all I want for Christmas is Jeeeeeew.
(Jewwww, baby…)

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The Best of Craigslist Personals—Real Ads, Real Gross
by Kathy Cacace

Craigslist is a horny hotbed of personal ads. It has to be the no-frills anonymity compelling the crazies to fill page after page with strange, demanding, borderline terrifying requests for love. Below, I’ve gathered and tried to explain my favorite headlines from recent M4W posts.

GREEK MAN LOOK FOR GREEK-AMERCAN LADY if you or u know one rewart
It’s amazing how a typo of just one letter in this situation is the difference between a fistful of cash and a returning skin eruption.

Former Olympian
Yes, a very very special Olympian.

You’ve got the silver - 30
Please return the forks or we will prosecute to the fullest extent of the law.

***#1 CLUB PACHA W/ 6′4″ BUILT ITALIAN/HAWAIIAN STUD??? - 25 (Sheepshead Bay)
***#1 CLUB PACHA W/ 6′4″ BUILT ITALIAN/HAWAIIAN STUD??? - 25 (Manhattan)
***PACHA THIS WEEKEND W/ 6′4″ BUILT ITALIAN/HAWAIIAN MODEL??? - 25
***PACHA W/ 6′4″ BUILT ITALIAN/HAWAIIAN MODEL W/ A LAMBORGHINI?? - 25
I can only imagine the thought process that lead to these posts. “Wait a second…no one’s going to want to go to #1 CLUB PACHA W/A STUD from Sheepshead Bay! Let me just repost this saying I live in Manhattan. No, wait, even better, I’m a model with a LAMBORGHINI! So what if it’s my bed? Maybe I should take down the other ads? Nah. I need a whole GANG of bitches this week at #1 CLUB PACHA. This is the week they let me in, I can feel it!”

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The Best of Craigslist Personals—Real Ads, Real Gross
by Kathy Cacace

Craigslist is a horny hotbed of personal ads. It has to be the no-frills anonymity compelling the crazies to fill page after page with strange, demanding, borderline terrifying requests for love. Below, I’ve gathered and tried to explain my favorite headlines from recent M4W posts.

Looking for Frolicking Fun with a Frisky Feline-You? – 45
I’m feeling faint at the freaky phantasm of your feely fingers anywhere near my fagina.

COME INTO MY WORLD AND STRIP YOUR FEARS AWAY - m4w – 50
Clap clap! Clothes are for another da-aa-aay! Let the Whitesnake play (clap clap)! Down at Stripper Rock!

Sexy Nanny Desire – 37
That’s right my little sugarplum, Sexy Nanny Desire says it’s time to get into your jammies and go to bed. Sexy Nanny Desire just needs to pull something a little more comfortable out of her bottomless carpetbag of tricks.

YOUNG ITALIAN Man to SPOIL Young BEAUTY - 31
With ACID because YOUNG ITALIAN MAN HATES BEAUTY

A DIFFERENT TYPE OF THERAPY - 52
THE TYPE THAT EJACULATES
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The Best of Craigslist Personals—Real Ads, Real Gross
by Kathy Cacace

Craigslist is a horny hotbed of personal ads. It has to be the no-frills anonymity compelling the crazies to fill page after page with strange, demanding, borderline terrifying requests for love. Below, I’ve gathered and tried to explain my favorite headlines from recent M4W posts.

Actually, this week I just couldn’t deal with another round of glorified johns, perverts and mustachioed casanovas. Instead, I’ve headed over to the W4M ads because seriously, Craigsladies are just as crazy.

Travel Companion Wanted For European Trip – White Males Are Welcome - 31 (NYC)
Tongan men will be considered trespassers and shot on sight.

where are all the italian men at
Italy.

where have all the cowboys gone.. probly texas cuz IMMA Jerzi Gurl – 19
Yeah, that’s what Paula Cole was saying if you play “Do dodo do dodo do dodo do dodo” backwards.

I AM BORED !!! KEEP MEETING ROBOTS…ANY THINKERS AROUND? - 45
Seriously, every time I leave the house it’s like I go to Starbucks, wait in line, order my skim macchiato with an extra shot, and the cute guy behind the counter is all like, wink, Starbucks doesn’t need to know about that extra shot and he gives it to me for free, and then I get all excited because I’ve had like a real moment, and I smooth my hair and he makes my drink and smiles really big as he hands it across the counter but then my finger grazes his thumb and it is COLD STEEL. Again! Another robot! They’re everywhere!

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The Best of Craigslist Personals—Real Ads, Real Gross
by Kathy Cacace

Craigslist is a horny hotbed of personal ads. It has to be the no-frills anonymity compelling the crazies to fill page after page with strange, demanding, borderline terrifying requests for love. Below, I’ve gathered and tried to explain my favorite headlines from recent M4W posts.

Nice Guys Seeking a Virgin (manhattan) pic
I’ve managed to keep my virtue intact this long, but finally, finally I’ve found plural guys who will make a woman out of me! At once! God has answered my prayers!

“But i still haven’t found what i’m looking for” - 45 (suffolk)
U 2?

i like goth girls (Lower East Side)
You like things? God, you’re such a poseur.

honestly-I like pointy, hard nipples attached to cool, sweet girls (Financial District)
Honestly, I’m looking into coming up with something else to call “the best policy.”

Are you an “Ann Taylor” kinda gal? - 27 (Upper East Side)
Do you appreciate sensible style with a maternal edge? Do you like convincing yourself that a really good cup of tea is an indulgence? Do you weep uncontrollably at “The Notebook?” Do you wear Nikes on the subway, but bring pumps to work in a bodega bag?

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The Best of Craigslist Personals—Real Ads, Real Gross
by Kathy Cacace

Craigslist is a horny hotbed of personal ads. It has to be the no-frills anonymity compelling the crazies to fill page after page with strange, demanding, borderline terrifying requests for love. Below, I’ve gathered and tried to explain my favorite headlines from recent M4W posts.

A challenge for someone with very little baggage. - 34 (NYC)
Pack everything you need for a two-month hike through the Andes…in a take-out box!

NO BAGGAGE, NO SKELETONS, NO PERSONALITY - and slightly sexy
I WANT A BORING BAG OF SKIN – with an okay rack

Ultimate Fighting Event in Atlantic City, need hot date tonight - 41 (AC)
Wow. I am truly grateful to have read this ad, because the opportunity to find superlatives in life is so rare. As it turns out, the place I would LEAST LIKE TO BE ON EARTH is the hot date to a 41-year-old at an Ultimate Fighting Event in Atlantic City. Thank you.

keymaster seeks gatekeeper – 31
Ghostbusters humor! Man, your jokes are stoopid fresh.

seeking black queen
Are you sure?

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The Best of Craigslist Personals—Real Ads, Real Gross
by Kathy Cacace

Craigslist is a horny hotbed of personal ads. It has to be the no-frills anonymity compelling the crazies to fill page after page with strange, demanding, borderline terrifying requests for love. Below, I’ve gathered and tried to explain my favorite headlines from recent M4W posts.

looking for prospects – 21
I heard there’s silver in them thar hills!

I belive it was Shakespere who said…
“She don’t eat meat, but she sure like da BONE.”

THE BEER GARDEN – 33
BRING YR HOEGARTEN AND SIT UNDER THE SAPPOROAK

FEMINIZE ME AND I’M YOURS
I GOT SCISSORS AND A NOTARY PUBLIC LET’S DO THIS THING

Gmail Chat, with caveats – 34
1. Beware of dog.
2. Also the Ides of March.
3. Mind the gap.
4. Objects in mirror can be closer than they appear.
5. File contains extention .exe. Do you wish to continue?

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The Best of Craigslist Personals—Real Ads, Real Gross
by Kathy Cacace

Craigslist is a horny hotbed of personal ads. It has to be the no-frills anonymity compelling the crazies to fill page after page with strange, demanding, borderline terrifying requests for love. Below, I’ve gathered and tried to explain my favorite headlines from recent M4W posts.

GRETA LEGS AND BREATS AND YOU LOVE TO SHOP.? - 39 (Midtown West)
THEY CALL ME “OLE VAN SUSTEREN GAMS” AT BARNEY’S

DO U LIKE BLACK?DO U LOVE ORAL?DO U LIKE GAGGING? – 28
OMG YES COME HOME AND MEET MY PARENTS RIGHT NOW

OBSESSED WITH SMALL CHESTS – 32
THEY ARE THE PERFECT PLACE TO STORE JUST A LITTLE BIT OF TREASURE

Where is the skittle? – 30
God, I hated it when Grandpa made me play this game.

Hot tea and cold rain – 42
And tepid mucus and lukewarm drool.

Are you a girl that doesn’t shave your kitty? - 33
Because I’m not really into this.

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The Best of Craigslist Personals—Real Ads, Real Gross
by Brad Walsh

Craigslist is a horny hotbed of personal ads. It has to be the no-frills anonymity compelling the crazies to fill page after page with strange, demanding, borderline terrifying requests for love. Below, I’ve gathered and tried to explain my favorite headlines from recent M4W posts.

Kathy’s in Chicago for a while so I’m taking a crack at this for the very first time! Like a virgin! Like many of these pathetic men! –Brad

ive been flirting with my coworkers all day and now im so…… - 35 (Midtown East)
fired.

LOVE TO PLAY WITH LARGE BREASTS - 40 (MANHATTAN)
BATTLESHIP, KICKBALL, MONOPOLY, MARIO KART

I dont know why i am doing this - 21 (ozone park)
I am smashing my balls with a hammer.

LESBIAN (queens)
IN FLANNEL (and fake lashes)

Just turned 43 years old and look 27 - can you handle that? (Steinway and 34th Ave area)
btw I am Beyonce

THIS WEATHER IS MAKING ME HORNY - 38 (MANHATTAN)
THOSE CIRRUS CLOUDS JUST SHOWED ME THEIR TITS

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The Best of Craigslist Personals—Real Ads, Real Gross
by Kathy Cacace

Craigslist is a horny hotbed of personal ads. It has to be the no-frills anonymity compelling the crazies to fill page after page with strange, demanding, borderline terrifying requests for love. Below, I’ve gathered and tried to explain my favorite headlines from recent M4W posts.

Stoner laundry - 26 (Manhattan)
Awwww, duuuuude. This t-shirt is totally raaaaaaaank. Oh man, that reminds me, you know what would be good right now? A burrito. Oh shit dude, it’s your mom! Hide the shit!

I find there are two types of women on this site - 27 (Upper East Side)
Hookers and straight-up dudes. Why can’t I find love?!

Loyal, Obedient, Faithful, Warm, Friendly and……………. – 49
Blond.

Maryann Olsen Rifkin where are you? (Flushing)
Try a phonebook, dickhead.

I HAVE A GREAT KISS WAITING - 42 (LONG ISLAND
W/B SOON CRISS GETS IMPATIENT

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