“When Baldacci is on fire, nobody can touch him.” This is the Booklist quote on the big ad for David Baldacci’s new book that’s plastered all over the subway. And you know that book Sweeter Than Honey by Mary B. Morrison, who looks kind of like a vamped pussycat doll version of Toni Morrison [though not so much in this photo; the one from the ad is mysteriously not online]? The quote on that one is “she certainly knows her way around the bedroom.”

First, that one is not even praise. That’s just calling the girl a slut. Though by the looks of her available photos the quote is probably accurate. But it’s the Baldacci quote that I think must have been taken out of context:

“We must kill David Baldacci. Every time we shoot him or hang him his supporters are quick to his rescue and hospitals, being obliged to do so, revive him. But what if we douse him in kerosene and light him ablaze? Who can help him then? There is simply no rescue. When Baldacci is on fire, nobody can touch him.” -Booklist

Also, I think I once counted Dr. Zizmor’s name appearing on his subway ads fourteen times in each poster. Fourteen actual printed instances of his name on one single poster. And don’t even get me started on Creflo A. Dollar and his smarm hands.