IMpersonals are daily AIM conversations between your Editors, because copying and pasting is much easier and usually more entertaining than thinking of something of substance to say.

BRAD: another one bites the dust.

KATHY: YES

BRAD: straight dude from high school, gay on Facebook
BRAD: I feel like a pioneer

KATHY: I’m trying so hard to think of a joke that includes Oregon Trail
KATHY: Whoregon Trail?
KATHY: can we go with that?
KATHY: instead of hunting bison, they hunt bears.

BRAD: instead of trading things for wheels of cheese, they trade it for sex with other men.

KATHY: “BRUCE has a pulled groin muscle. Lose three days and a fierce white party invitation.”

BRAD: “MARGARET CHO has typhoid.”
BRAD: “LANCE has flourished.”

KATHY: “TOM FORD The River, a new scent available at Barney’s”

BRAD: “…for the low price of two oxen and a wagon wheel.”
BRAD: so last night a Mercedes Benz picked us up to go to their party with Sheryl Crow and two amazing things happened…

KATHY: oh yeah, well last night a unicorn picked me up and flew me to paris. so fuck you. what two things?

BRAD: 1. Fern Mallis was walking around drinking Rolling Rock and eating hot dogs
BRAD: and 2. Seann William Scott told me how star struck he was when he met Christian.

KATHY: totally sweet.

BRAD: he was totally thrilled. it was really cute.
BRAD: also he’s really hot in person.

KATHY: stifler and yr boyfriend, sittin’ in a tree.

BRAD: yeah except he’s so not stifler anymore. now he’s like, big hot dude with facial hair and possibly a pregnant wife

KATHY: really? i couldn’t decide if he’d be hot in real life
KATHY: because on screen, he kind of looks like a chimp.
KATHY: (sorry, SWS.)
KATHY: also, i’m actually having anxiety that he will see this now.
KATHY: remember when no one read this?

BRAD: but really the star of the evening was Fern with her green bottle of Rolling Rock and mini hot dogs.
BRAD: for real, I was seriously impressed.
BRAD: I mean that’s what I eat.
BRAD: but the woman behind all of New York fashion week was walking around at a Mercedes Benz party nomnomming the stuff I rock in the back yard on Memorial Day. I was so happy.

KATHY: you eat full size hot dogs.
KATHY: not mini ones.

BRAD: you eat full size butts

KATHY: true, but not in public.
KATHY: and butt goes way better with red stripe.

BRAD: Sheryl Crow sang her new song that I don’t really like but is always stuck in my head, and then a lot of old first and second album stuff that I didn’t realize I still have a soft spot for.

KATHY: i hear that new song every time i’m in H&M, so all it makes me think of is shirts with unfortunate ruffles.
KATHY: oh, also, that girl sent me two e-mails asking me to get her a job.

BRAD: don’t reply

KATHY: am I allowed to not like her?
KATHY: I don’t know her at all but I kind of hate her
KATHY: anyone who talks about how smart they are during your first conversation ever is not cool.