IMpersonals are daily AIM conversations between your Editors, because copying and pasting is much easier and usually more entertaining than thinking of something of substance to say.

BRAD: oh btw i married kathy najimy
BRAD: …so you have to move out.

KATHY: oh really?
KATHY: when did that happen?

BRAD: yeah there’s a new kathy in my life and she needs yr room

KATHY: if you’re married
KATHY: she can live in your room
KATHY: and you will live as man and wife
KATHY: and i will live as uncomfortable third wheel

BRAD: no i need space
BRAD: there is a new kathy. deal. and move out.

KATHY: you move out

BRAD: i was here first

KATHY: i married brad renfro,
KATHY: and i need your room.

BRAD: you’re just lying.

KATHY: no,
KATHY: i didn’t want to tell you because i thought i would hurt your feelings
KATHY: what with me upgrading and all
KATHY: CLEARLY the better brad
KATHY: you, though…
KATHY: kathy najimy?
KATHY: downgrade.

BRAD: yeah. brad renfro. that’s… attractive. kathy najimy, however… i mean. peggy hill!

KATHY: yeah.
KATHY: like i said…

BRAD: you don’t have to bite the donut to know it’s sweet!

KATHY: you need to move out.

BRAD: you need to move out.

KATHY: you need to have your shit out by tonight.

BRAD: i’ll have my shit out in a few minutes
BRAD: oh, you mean my things

KATHY: rider strong and some other guys are helping him move in.
KATHY: elijah, macauly and a couple of the other culkins, they’re all coming over.
KATHY: that other savage from boy meets world…
KATHY: i think topanga might be coming…

BRAD: THERE ARE NO OTHER CULKINS
BRAD: and topanga is busy with tyra

KATHY: yeah, uh, there are. and you can’t be there when they arrive.

BRAD: i am locking the doors so no culkins nor renfros nor savages may enter. except jes savage.
BRAD: topanga can seep through the cracks though, so i’ll have to get crafty

KATHY: no, you’re moving out to make way for my wonderful new life
KATHY: TOPANGA IS AN OIL

BRAD: howie mandel is a liquid

KATHY: kathy najimy is a flan
KATHY: so there.

BRAD: i think topanga might really be alex mack
BRAD: she just goes goo and then gets in wherever she wants

KATHY: “i don’t care if this is hyde, i’m TOPANGA!”
KATHY: “you won’t let me in?”
KATHY: “oh well let me just go over here in the alley and GOOOOOOOO”
KATHY: and then she glub glub glubs through the sewer

BRAD: …anyway, the kids from family matters are all coming over to repaint your room for kathy 2.0, so please be out by 5

KATHY: that doesn’t even make any sense
KATHY: kathy najimy doesn’t even know them

BRAD: telma hopkins is driving them

KATHY: you’re just dreaming

BRAD: telma and kathy go way back

KATHY: yeah. sure.
KATHY: look, rider strong already rented a van.
KATHY: so if you could have your stuff on the curb by 4:30 that would be great.

BRAD: rosetta lenoire and reginald veljohnson are going to fix the roof

KATHY: sure they are.

BRAD: you know i’m not on imbd, right? i actually know all their names.
BRAD: darius mccrary

KATHY: that just makes it even more pathetic.

BRAD: oh

KATHY: they’re not coming over and i’m not moving out
KATHY: but brad renfro is turning your room into his meditation studio
KATHY: he’s gotten very zen since that heroin bust thing.

BRAD: dixie carter, annie potts, delta burke, jean smart …meschach taylor.

KATHY: see, now, meschach. that’s more your type.

BRAD: i hope you get raped by mr. cooper
BRAD: nee mark curry

KATHY: god, me too!

BRAD: and i hope it’s filmed by tia and tamara mowry
BRAD: while tahj mowry hits you with a beer can on a rope

KATHY: i was about to make some joke about him being one spicy curry or something and then i actually sort of gagged at the prospect
KATHY: step by step, day by day, a fresh start over, a different hand will play
KATHY: something some FAAAAALLLL
KATHY: stronger something SOMMETHING….

BRAD: we’ll MAKE IT BETTER
BRAD: the second time around!
BRAD: ba doo ba do bop mm ba da

KATHY: yeah, that wasn’t even in that song but i put it in there too

BRAD: oh
BRAD: yeah

KATHY: i was sure it was there

BRAD: OH NO I AM FLAWED

KATHY: i almost typed it

BRAD: ba do ba do bop mm ba da
BRAD: aaaaa-aaa-aaa-aaaa

KATHY: no but seriously i have question
KATHY: seriously
KATHY: whatever happened to predictability?

BRAD: omg i know!
BRAD: the milkman, the paperboy… evening TV!

KATHY: everywhere you look, everywhere! there’s a face!
KATHY: wait those aren’t the words at all
KATHY: there’s a place
KATHY: not face
KATHY: what is it?

BRAD: there’s a heart

KATHY: a hand to hold on to

BRAD: a hand to stick wherever you like
BRAD: there’s a fist

KATHY: that’s it
KATHY: you are a pig.

BRAD: pig like a fox!

KATHY: yeah.